Thursday, 29 April 2010

Dear Gordon

I heard that you'd had a bad day yesterday and I just wanted to write and say how sorry I am and see if I can help.

Gordon - have you ever played The Glad Game? Pollyanna used to play it when she felt a bit sad or when she lost the use of her legs after a serious accident and was bed bound. It's jolly super fun and it can even turn around the worst of days.

Here's what you do:

It's simple. Just try really really hard to see the positives in everything. Even the truly ghastly moments like when you've been chatting with an old lady about immigration and stuff and she puts you on the spot and then you get in your car and say something bad about her behind her back when you've just been trying to convince her what a very sincere bloke you are because you want to be the Prime Minister again and you think no one's listening but later find out you've still got a radio mic attached to your lapel and your words are broadcast across every single media platform and people are saying rotten things about you and you're feeling a bit down in the dumps. Has that ever happened to you? Thought so! Ok, let's see if we can work with that scenario. Right: so you messed up a bit and said sorry a few times and the bad feeling didn't go away. Hmm. It's a tricky one this but I think I've got it. The one good thing about that little episode was that at least you didn't call the lady a bigot. Now things really would've gone tits up if you'd said that wouldn't they?

There now. All better.

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