Fun & Games

It was high fives all round as Eton and Oxford chums Boris Johnson and David Cameron had a meet-up and got down with the kids at a south London school yesterday to promote their proposed Olympics-style school sports competition.

“We all know that it would be good to have more competitive sport in our schools. I think sport is incredibly important for not just fitness, not just teamwork but also learning about winning and losing and taking part and being part of a team." Said Cameron.

There had been a suggestion that the inter schools competition would feature the famous Eton 'Wall' and 'Field' Games. However anyone who doesn't talk posh may find the rules difficult to understand.

Dear Gordon

I heard that you'd had a bad day yesterday and I just wanted to write and say how sorry I am and see if I can help.

Gordon - have you ever played The Glad Game? Pollyanna used to play it when she felt a bit sad or when she lost the use of her legs after a serious accident and was bed bound. It's jolly super fun and it can even turn around the worst of days.

Here's what you do:

It's simple. Just try really really hard to see the positives in everything. Even the truly ghastly moments like when you've been chatting with an old lady about immigration and stuff and she puts you on the spot and then you get in your car and say something bad about her behind her back when you've just been trying to convince her what a very sincere bloke you are because you want to be the Prime Minister again and you think no one's listening but later find out you've still got a radio mic attached to your lapel and your words are broadcast across every single media platform and people are saying rotten things about you and you're feeling a bit down in the dumps. Has that ever happened to you? Thought so! Ok, let's see if we can work with that scenario. Right: so you messed up a bit and said sorry a few times and the bad feeling didn't go away. Hmm. It's a tricky one this but I think I've got it. The one good thing about that little episode was that at least you didn't call the lady a bigot. Now things really would've gone tits up if you'd said that wouldn't they?

There now. All better.